On this day one year ago I made the tough and right decision to bring the love of my life home so she could die in our home. That day lasted longer than we thought as she lasted until April 3rd. As painful as the decision was to bring her home I will always believe it was the right decision at the time. I have some tough days ahead and the biggest concern is getting me through Christmas Eve. No matter what I do I will come back to our empty 3 bedroom home and our cat. There is simply no way around it. I do get tired of people reminding me that this is a year of first for me. I was aware of that the day I lost her. My neighbor said today that on Christmas Day I will be doing something with him and his wife. One of the things that her and I didn’t really anticpate was some linger health issues that I really can’t get a handle on.

However, her biggest fear has come true and that fear was that I would be so physically alone. The thing is there are millions of men in my situation who lose their life long partner and wake up one day and realize they are all alone. It something we learn to accept whether we like it or not.