As I sit here this early October morning there is a certain numbness to my spirit. The love of my life is still in the hospital for the 2 time in 3 weeks. This time this feels different somehow. In a text I received in church yesterday morning from her she stated that she felt Saturday night the same way she did on December 30th the morning of her second open heart surgery which turned out to be the night that I thought I had lost her. To see that was devastating, and frankly, I didn’t think I had the strength to walk down the aisle to take communion. God gave me that strength and I was holding back tears once I knelt down I started to cry but I knew I had to hold that in and I could have never gotten up and walked away. That would have been wrong on many levels.

So I sit here alone wondering…………