The big crash that the one closest to me ( these days) knew was coming has arrived in all it’s glory! After 10 years of being a caregiver for my beloved wife ( and her death) and a new health issue for me ( the first major one without her) the big emotional and physical toll if all of it gas finally caught up with me. The bigger question is why did it take so long? It has been coming like a train through a darken tunnel for a very,very long time. I am extremely isolated, I eat everything in sight and frankly I really have no big desire to speak with anyone. Which of course is the wrong course of action. Some would say that is a sign of depression and they would be right. You’d be depressed too if you were in my shoes. I sit in a 3 bedroom house with a cat. I can’t drive because if a health issue ( my doctor is right about that. It would be unsafe for me or the public if I drove)

However, that being said unless you have walked in my shoes there is no way anyone can truly understand. The thing is I am in no danger if hurting myself. I have no desire or energy for that stuff.