Tag: Life

Posted on

Losing A Parent Versus Losing A Spouse Comparison

As many of you know, I lost my spouse about 9 days ago.

Let me tell you something, there is simply no comparison between losing a parent and losing a spouse is much more intense, especially when you spend night after night all alone.

The “experts” say in these types of situations, don’t become isolated. That ship sailed in my life a very long time ago and it’s probably not going to end anytime soon.

Losing a spouse is like nothing else on earth. As she said, it is a very private matter between the spouses.

I am miserable and not dealing well with this at all. Tomorrow is Palm Sunday. I understand how important it is, but I may not be going to church because it’s Palm Sunday is also about families, and mine is in heaven.

Oh well, back to looking at the empty walls, maybe they will ask if I’m ok?

Posted on

Feelings

As I sit alone here with my cat, less than 24 hours from losing the love of my life. I wonder if this pain will ever get any better or if it will stay like this forever.

Several people have inquired about how I am doing. It’s really simple. I am a trainwreck!

I have times I can rationalize it and then burst into tears at any second.

I will say this: you must be true to your feelings, regardless of what others may think, because if you don’t, you may come to regret it one day.

So, as I said to my beloved wife recently that I loved her and how proud I was of her and now she is with The Lord God Almighty, and I am here wondering if I can take one more step.

So if you think you have true feelings for someone, then tell them before it’s too late, because you never know they may have those same feelings too.

Posted on

Your Faith Dice Are You Ready To Roll Them?

Sometimes, you have to roll your faith dice, not knowing how they will turn out. So when do these times occur and what are faith dice anyway? Faith dice are things you build up over time in your faith journey. ( not by any works you have done) These times can very often happen in medical situations. You gather all the information you have been given and then you have a choice to make and in that moment is when you decide if you are going to roll your faith dice?

Here is an example of what I am referring. Several years ago my wife’s health had really started to fail. After a long and drawn-out conversation, I had a decision to make was I willing to roll my faith dice knowing that if I didn’t then she could die but if I did say yes then she could also die. (Reflecting on it now my wife and her doctor were like 2 little children waiting to see what Dad was going to say?) I finally decided to say yes under 2 conditions. The first was that we were going to throw everything we could at this and the second was I don’t want to hear about money. That was over 9 years ago and we still have her but this past weekend we had a similar conversation but this time it was easier to make. It may blow up on us but there is one significant difference between now and then. That big difference is the spiritual support system that we have today. So all those many years ago as I stood by the bedside all alone I had no idea what God had planned for our lives.( by the way in those situations you don’t think about how much stuff you have)

So yes I have rolled them twice in my life but in the end as a believer in The Lord Jesus Christ, in reality, I didn’t have any faith dice to roll in the first place.

However, there is one big caveat to these situations. The time to be in the Word and to grow your faith is before you are faced with these types of situations.

Posted on

Valentines Day 2025 Is Going To Be Sad

As Valentine’s Day approaches at the end of the week, it will be a special day for my wife and I because it will probably be our last together. Of course, we never know when it will be the “last” of anything. But this is different because of her failing health. Just to think we met through a Christian Singles paper ( long before e-Harmony and the like) in 1996. She thought I was too young for her. ( She is about 10 years older). I was in St. Louis and she was in Nashville. She had a career in Nashville and it just made more sense for me to come to Nashville.

It has been some ride and I would do it all over again in a split second.