Month: June 2025

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Wrapping Up Life

There comes a point in your life when you realize that you need to start to get things wrapped up before you leave this earth. I have been writing since I was a kid, but the time has come to close this final blog. It’s been a wild ride my writing through the years but it’s time.

As I continue to struggle with the love of my life who died almost 3 months ago. In many ways, she was the reason I fought the battles of life each and every day. Now she is gone, what is the purpose?

I do know that I have to figure out a way to get me out of this 3 bedroom house or I will simply not survive or want to survive.

This severe isolation is making a very tough situation even worse. All the “experts” say you shouldn’t be isolated in times like these. They are right. But I am, and this was my late wife’s biggest fear. Her dying certainly was not.

So goodbye blog world, it’s been some ride!

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The Hide A Bed And Loss

As I begin to think about what my life may be like moving forward with the loss of my beloved spouse, I realize that at some point, there will be some downsizing. (What do I need with a 3-bedroom house?) The thing is that I have this couch set with a folding bed inside. I can’t picture a scenario in which I would need a couch with a hide-a-bed inside. I will probably have someone come in and haul it away.

Isn’t that hide-a-bed like losing a spouse? You can try to hide your emotions all you want, but in the end, those feelings and fears are still present.

I was doing pretty good today with not crying in public until I went to check out at Goodwill and couldn’t figure out how to use my card. The young woman was so gracious and helped me complete that task.

So, do you have a hide-a-bed in your life that you are trying to hide from others? Trust me, that doesn’t work.

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How Much Longer Can I Take This Pain?

Well, it’s been another day of crying and screaming at the loss of my wife over 2 months ago. Being alone hour after hour makes the pain that much worse. The house’s emptiness makes my crying and screaming echo off the walls. My reality is I am 65 and all alone. There is simply no way to sugarcoat that fact. I just don’t know how much more of this I can emotionally and physically take? The other reality is this question.

How much more do I want to keep up this fight? My late wife was why I fought life’s battles each day. When I lost her, I not only lost my life partner but also the only real family I had. All we had was each other.

All I know is what lies ahead for me tonight is an empty house and a lot of screaming and crying. Of course the Good Lord could put a stop to this pain I am feeling and call me home tonight. Then I could be with him and her for eternity.