Tag: death

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The Night That Changed Everything

It was supposed to be a night like any other. It was about 2 a.m as I stood by a trash dumpster and watch the snow fall ever so gently as it fell past a light post not giving any hint as to what was about to happen. For me I figured it was going to be another night of moving snow and listening to Condominium owners complain how I had it out for them. Trust when you have 9 inches of snow about to fall on your head you don’t think about how you are going to pick on some owner that you have differences with in the past! It’s about getting thing cleared away before people have to leave for work. As I recall it wasn’t a real eventful night just moving snow and pumping as many fluids as possible in me. What I didn’t know was sometime during the process I hurt my lower back pretty bad. When it exactly happened I do not know. What I do know is in the middle if the next night 911 was called because I was in so much pain I couldn’t walk. I was taken to the hospital and spent the next 9 days there. (This was in about 1992.) In ways it was the worst thing ( up to that point) that had ever happened in my life. On the other hand it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I was AR that stage where I would attend church in occasion. Then one day a woman (Ann) approached me about attending church with her. SoI did. I then spent almost 4 years in a conservative nondenominational church. Which ultimately led to me answering an add in a Christian Singles Paper ( long before e-harmony).One of the people I wrote to said I was to young for her. A few months later she wrote back and asked if we could start writing again? That was early spring in 1996. So we started wring again and on February 14 1997 we became husband wife for the next 28 years.

So today on our bed in extreme physical and emotional pain all alone with tears cascading down my cheeks and an emptiness in my soul.

The physical pain I feel today is very much like the one I felt all those many years ago but nothing like the emotional pain I have felt since April 3rd when she was called home to be without Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

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Grieving the Loss of A Loved One

As Halloween is fast approaching for many it’s a time for fun but for me, it hasn’t been since 2008. That was the day that I lost my dad. That moment of loss and watching him fade away something became and that is there are forces in the universe that no matter how big and strong I am I can’t stop. That of course is the power of The Lord God Almighty. The reality is that you never truly get over the loss of a loved one. You just learn over time it does become somewhat easier to handle.

There has been this debate for eternity over which is better to lose someone. Some believe that it’s easier if your loved one goes quickly. While there are those it’s better if it is something drawn out so you have time to say your goodbyes. Having gone through one and for the last several years while going through the other I can safely say that I don’t have a clue.

I do know that all people grieve differently and for others to judge others when they are grieving is simply wrong.