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Feeling So Alone

As I sit here this early October morning there is a certain numbness to my spirit. The love of my life is still in the hospital for the 2 time in 3 weeks. This time this feels different somehow. In a text I received in church yesterday morning from her she stated that she felt Saturday night the same way she did on December 30th the morning of her second open heart surgery which turned out to be the night that I thought I had lost her. To see that was devastating, and frankly, I didn’t think I had the strength to walk down the aisle to take communion. God gave me that strength and I was holding back tears once I knelt down I started to cry but I knew I had to hold that in and I could have never gotten up and walked away. That would have been wrong on many levels.

So I sit here alone wondering…………

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Feeling Spiritual Dead?

It is a typical trash pick-up day, so I got it and set it out like always, but this morning, it was somewhat different because I realized I was just spiritually dead. Nothing is left in that tank; frankly, it’s not the first time and won’t be the last. That may sound clavier but it really isn’t because experience has taught me it will come back sometime. It may be today or not and that’s ok. When these things happen to people it is normal for people of faith. It is not a sign that you have lost your trust. In reality, it is a sign of how important your faith is to you! Because if you didn’t have it wouldn’t matter. So then comes the question how do you get it back?

For me, I crank up the Southern Gospel music I love so much.

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Devastating News Can Happen At Anytime

As we go through our lives we have something nagging at us that we know we should do but never seem to have “time” for and then when we do find the “time” there is devasting news. That happened to me yesterday and this is not being shared for anyone to feel sorry for me. Because there is no need for that stuff. The woman has a terminal illness and they don’t give her much time. She was the love of my late father’s life, and I am grateful beyond words. Sure when I was told about it I “beat” myself over it as to why I hadn’t reached out sooner. Then again I was letting my personal emotional feelings stand in the way of what I know is true.

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”
(Ecclesiastes 3:1, NIV)

In verses 2-8, King Solomon presents multiple pairs of juxtaposing seasons. For instance:

“a time to weep and a time to laugh,
 a time to mourn and a time to dance,”
(Ecclesiastes 3:4, NIV)

We will ever speak again? I have no idea. Will she spend eternity with Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ for that one I have no doubt.

So if you find yourself in a similar situation reach out because that very well may be God working in both of your lives which I know this to be true.

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Your October In Life Is Now

As the rain falls on this October morning it reminds of how myself and everyone else is in the October of our lives every second of every day. So what does that mean anyway? Well what it means that traditionally when October comes fall is here and winter is fast approaching.

Isn’t that true about our lives the thing is, we forget that and act like we can go on forever!

So take the time to reflect on this October phase of your life because when it ends the Lord God Almighty calls you home there will be no more Octobers in your life.

There will only be peace and glory and all of the Octobers in your life will have been well worth the pain and suffering.