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  • Another Sleepless Night

    July 14, 2025
    Church, Faith

    Well, here I am again. I haven’t had much sleep, which is the norm these days. The major reason, of course, is my wife’s failing health. It is not so much thinking about it on a conscious level but a subconscious one. Someone said in an e-mail yesterday that I am carrying a heavy load and they are right.

    However, when I look closer at what I am feeling, it comes down to one fundamental fact. Like many millions of other Americans, we don’t have a day-to-day physical support system. People who are there regardless of what is going on in their lives. Sure I can bring in home health and the like but that still does not change that fact in our lives. When I hear people complain about this person or another in their lives I just want to scream “You don’t understand how fortunate you are to have those people being there for you”

    So it’s thanksgiving and we do have so much to be thankful for and we are blessed in so many ways.

    For those of you who have a day to day support system in your life cherish every single second because when you don’t there is such a void that cannot be put into words.

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  • Mourning Of A Lost Love

    July 14, 2025
    Faith, Life

    On April 3,2025 I lost the love of my life of almost 30 years. We were married a bit over 28 of those years. Her given name was Nancy but to those of us who loved her so much she was better known as Nance. When I started calling her Nance I have no idea and it doesn’t really matter at this point! All that matters us that she has gone to be with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. She had been ill over about a decade and in December if 2024 I brought her home so she could die at home and that is what happened. It was her and I while the traditional hyms she grew up on played. Bring her home was the right decision but it is still very painful to live in our home knowing it is the place where she took her last breath.

    However, as difficult as that was living without her is in many ways this is far worse. The silence in our home is beyond words. You see she was the music to our home. Her energy is what made life worth living and gave me the strength to carry on the battles if life. Now all I hear is a deafening silence that pierces my soul. I have tried playing music and leaving on the television at night for the noise but that really doesn’t help either. The only way I will ever find peace in my soul is the day I meet her with The Lord Jesus Christ!

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  • Why Me?

    July 14, 2025
    Church, God, Men, Uncategorized

    As we go through tough times there does come at some point that it is only natural that you ask yourself this question. Why me? It took 10 years of being a caregiver for my beloved wife ( and her death) and some potentially damaging news about my own health that I finally allowed myself to ask that question. Why so long you might ask? I have no idea. In many ways it is probably a miracle in itself that I haven’t allowed myself to ask that question long ago..

    However, it really shouldn’t come as a surprise at all and frankly it’s part of the human experience. Throughout Scripture there are countless examples if people wondering why me? Even Jesus Christ had these immortal words “my god my god why have you forsaken me”? Or in other words he was asking his father in heaven the why me question.

    So if you are asking yourself the why me question this day I have another question for you to ponder. As a believer the question becomes as follows. Why not me? You have The Lord Jesus Christ on your side while no believers don’t have that sense if comfort.

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  • Lonliness at a New Level?

    July 13, 2025
    Life, Men, Women

    As I spend another day trying to grapple with the loss of my wife of 28 years a question comes to mind? Is the level if loneliness reach a new level? My best guess is that it has and a major reason for that us the new found health scare I am going through now. She was always there to let me know that things were going to be ok even if she knew that was not the case.

    When I returned to college after over 25 years away my first professor had this saying ” there are no solos” Of course she was referring to getting through college.

    However, In many ways I am going through the most difficult time in my life physically solo and that makes a difficult situation even worse. We all need a physical shoulder to cry on and someone to say it’s going to be ok. I don’t have that like millions of others. For those of you who do cherish every single second because for those of us who don’t would give anything to have those kinds of relationships.

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