Tag: God

Posted on

Something On Your Heart By God?

There are times in life when we all hesitate to reach out to others even though we know that God has put it on our hearts. This begs the question of why, and frankly, using Satan ( although his hand is never far away)as an excuse really does get old. I do think sometimes people are hesitant to reach out because of their marital or relationship status. If someone’s marriage is so insecure that outreach directed by God to them by a member of the opposite causes problems, then I would suggest they seek guidance from their Pastor.

However, you have to be on guard that Satan could use that honest desire by God for outreach which could lead to great damage. One of the biggest ways to fight that is to surround yourself around other Godly women.

Many years ago when my wife started having serious health issues a friend of mine talked to me about the kind of women I was being around. Of course back then my emotions were so raw that anything could have happened. Today that would be extremely unlikely.

Then comes a bigger question? When God puts this outreach on your heart are you going to do what God has guided you to do or not the choice is totally up to you.

Posted on

Why Me?

As we go through tough times there does come at some point that it is only natural that you ask yourself this question. Why me? It took 10 years of being a caregiver for my beloved wife ( and her death) and some potentially damaging news about my own health that I finally allowed myself to ask that question. Why so long you might ask? I have no idea. In many ways it is probably a miracle in itself that I haven’t allowed myself to ask that question long ago..

However, it really shouldn’t come as a surprise at all and frankly it’s part of the human experience. Throughout Scripture there are countless examples if people wondering why me? Even Jesus Christ had these immortal words “my god my god why have you forsaken me”? Or in other words he was asking his father in heaven the why me question.

So if you are asking yourself the why me question this day I have another question for you to ponder. As a believer the question becomes as follows. Why not me? You have The Lord Jesus Christ on your side while no believers don’t have that sense if comfort.

Posted on

The Hide A Bed And Loss

As I begin to think about what my life may be like moving forward with the loss of my beloved spouse, I realize that at some point, there will be some downsizing. (What do I need with a 3-bedroom house?) The thing is that I have this couch set with a folding bed inside. I can’t picture a scenario in which I would need a couch with a hide-a-bed inside. I will probably have someone come in and haul it away.

Isn’t that hide-a-bed like losing a spouse? You can try to hide your emotions all you want, but in the end, those feelings and fears are still present.

I was doing pretty good today with not crying in public until I went to check out at Goodwill and couldn’t figure out how to use my card. The young woman was so gracious and helped me complete that task.

So, do you have a hide-a-bed in your life that you are trying to hide from others? Trust me, that doesn’t work.

Posted on

How Much Longer Can I Take This Pain?

Well, it’s been another day of crying and screaming at the loss of my wife over 2 months ago. Being alone hour after hour makes the pain that much worse. The house’s emptiness makes my crying and screaming echo off the walls. My reality is I am 65 and all alone. There is simply no way to sugarcoat that fact. I just don’t know how much more of this I can emotionally and physically take? The other reality is this question.

How much more do I want to keep up this fight? My late wife was why I fought life’s battles each day. When I lost her, I not only lost my life partner but also the only real family I had. All we had was each other.

All I know is what lies ahead for me tonight is an empty house and a lot of screaming and crying. Of course the Good Lord could put a stop to this pain I am feeling and call me home tonight. Then I could be with him and her for eternity.