True Friends During Hardest Of Times

Many people are proud of the number of friends they have or perceive that to be the case. The real truth is that you only find out how many true friends you have when your world is falling around you.

As my wife puts up a courageous fight against cancer I’m left to wonder why certain things have turned out the way they have so far.

Here is what I am referring to about a true friend. A true friend will be by your side regardless. They will be there to help you make the most difficult of decisions. They will be there night and day no matter what price they have to pay for themselves.

I do think that one of the major issues in this regard in the family of believers is that e-mail has made all of us lazy when it comes to reaching out to others. E-mails are fast and easy for all of us to hide behind when we really have other things that are a bigger priority. I also think people hide behind this stuff about not calling someone because they don’t want to interfere. What all of us have no way of knowing is that God wants us to make that call because only he knows what both need!

Wrapping Up Life

There comes a point in your life when you realize that you need to start to get things wrapped up before you leave this earth. I have been writing since I was a kid, but the time has come to close this final blog. It’s been a wild ride my writing through the years but it’s time.

As I continue to struggle with the love of my life who died almost 3 months ago. In many ways, she was the reason I fought the battles of life each and every day. Now she is gone, what is the purpose?

I do know that I have to figure out a way to get me out of this 3 bedroom house or I will simply not survive or want to survive.

This severe isolation is making a very tough situation even worse. All the “experts” say you shouldn’t be isolated in times like these. They are right. But I am, and this was my late wife’s biggest fear. Her dying certainly was not.

So goodbye blog world, it’s been some ride!

How Much Longer Can I Take This Pain?

Well, it’s been another day of crying and screaming at the loss of my wife over 2 months ago. Being alone hour after hour makes the pain that much worse. The house’s emptiness makes my crying and screaming echo off the walls. My reality is I am 65 and all alone. There is simply no way to sugarcoat that fact. I just don’t know how much more of this I can emotionally and physically take? The other reality is this question.

How much more do I want to keep up this fight? My late wife was why I fought life’s battles each day. When I lost her, I not only lost my life partner but also the only real family I had. All we had was each other.

All I know is what lies ahead for me tonight is an empty house and a lot of screaming and crying. Of course the Good Lord could put a stop to this pain I am feeling and call me home tonight. Then I could be with him and her for eternity.

You Ever Feel Like You Can’t Go On?

A few weeks back, I lost the love of my life of 28 years. Since then, I have cried, screamed, and begged for the Lord Jesus Christ to take me off this earth so I can be with her. It’s not that I am suicidal; it’s because I just want to be with her. I have no doubt that those pleadings will continue for as long as I can see. These are normal and to be expected, but here is the catch. I am not going anywhere until the Lord Jesus Christ is done with my journey on this earth and in his time frame.

So for me the verse that helps me begin to understand what I am going through is

Psalm 30:5

For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.

You see, the only thing that keeps me going is the knowledge that there will be rejoicing again and that day will come when the Lord Jesus Christ decides my work on earth is done. Until then, he will give me the strength to keep going

There is also this small matter of who would be madder at me if I simply gave up? My late wife or God?