Tag: Uncategorized

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A Landfill Is The Destination For All of Your Stuff!

As I have begun going through my late wife’s things ( that sounds strange), it has reaffirmed my long-held belief that all of this stuff doesn’t matter and will eventually end up in a landfill. It’s not by any means my attempt to erase her memory; it’s just something for me to do to try and fill the huge void losing her has left in my soul.

My greatest honor and privilege was being her husband for over 28 years. Yet all I have left our the memories we shared together and a bunch of stuff to get rid of period.

So all of that stuff that so many of you cherish and think you must have, let me give you some insight. All of those material possessions just don’t mean anything. They never have, a they never will, and that is one of the true facts of life.

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Feelings

As I sit alone here with my cat, less than 24 hours from losing the love of my life. I wonder if this pain will ever get any better or if it will stay like this forever.

Several people have inquired about how I am doing. It’s really simple. I am a trainwreck!

I have times I can rationalize it and then burst into tears at any second.

I will say this: you must be true to your feelings, regardless of what others may think, because if you don’t, you may come to regret it one day.

So, as I said to my beloved wife recently that I loved her and how proud I was of her and now she is with The Lord God Almighty, and I am here wondering if I can take one more step.

So if you think you have true feelings for someone, then tell them before it’s too late, because you never know they may have those same feelings too.

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After She Is Gone

As my wife continues to slip away we have had numerous conversations as to what my life would look like?

The first thing that has to be stated is that we have no idea how I am going to react to that.

I have started to think about it more and more since I don’t have family, so in many ways, nothing is keeping me in the place I have known as home for nearly 30 years.

She really wants me to take a trip to the beach, although I’m not sure I would want to do that alone.

I think it might easy her worry that she has some idea before she takes her last breath.

I’ve always wanted to take a missions trip of some kind.

At first, thinking about a future without her, I just couldn’t handle to idea of it but it is something I must face whether I like it or not!

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Pain At A New Level

Through my over 6 decades on this planet, I thought I had experienced every kind of pain there is and somehow I got through it.

However, watching my wife slowly die right in front of me is a kind of pain that I have never known and I know at some point it will reach another level and I don’t have any clue how I will get through that. Not one.

She keeps saying she is sorry for this but it’s not her fault. None of this is anyone’s fault.